A few things I’ve learned during my 5 years working as tech support at a well-known university.
1. Walk fast. It’s cold out, really cold - just get to the next building on the list already. But more importantly, walking fast gets you out of a suite quicker. The longer you stay there, the more time the workmates of the customer you went to see will have to think about all the problems they’re having with their computers that they’ve ‘meant to’ call in but never did. But since you’re here, let’s just tell you all about them because you have uber amounts of time right?
2. Don’t push Start on the coffee machine unless the ‘Ready to Brew’ light is on. Otherwise you get a shot of lukewarm dirty water into your cup and a wasted packet of coffee. It’s your lucky morning if it’s window cleaning day. While you’re waiting for the water to brew, watch the windows washers. They provide ample entertainment with their rope-swinging and squeegee-ing while you’re still in that pre-caffeine morning daze.
3. Don’t ever give a customer your cell phone number unless you make them swear, on punishment of deleting all fonts from their computer except for Wing Dings, not to give it out to anyone else, and not to call you on weekends or nights. That’s what the on-call techs are paid for.
4. Don’t linger in the kitchen too long. Unless you want to be swarmed with questions. See #1.
5. Don’t leave a wipe disk in a computer you don’t mean to wipe. It’s bad news. Really.
6. Your closet of an office is not a place of solace, especially with no blinds and no means of ventilation once the door is shut. The one-person bathroom, however, works perfectly. Except when someone’s made a doody in it recently. Escape and find another bathroom.
7. Don’t ever nod off in the office. Almost always someone will show up at your door, wondering why you’re not responding to them. Then you’ll have to wake up TO THEIR FACES. Oh horror of horrors!
8. The helpdesk/call center is only good for telling you that a person called in, with a computer issue. That’s right - what tech doesn’t love a help request all-inclusively entitled “computer problem”.
Last night I dreamed that I had started a new job working as tech support for another place. Except that I hadn’t told my previous employer that I was leaving so I was running back and forth working both jobs and getting stressed out. Work haunts my dreams. Is there such a thing as a voodoo doll of your job?
